Saturday, May 28, 2005

Welcome, New Bloggers!

I would like to welcome my two best friends, Joe and Heather, to the world of blogging. I helped Heather set up her blog last night, and Joe made his a week or two ago, but he hasn't posted anything yet. (Even with all my nagging to do so) I hope they find it as wonderful as I do.

Friday, May 27, 2005


Originally uploaded by amethistj.
My very first picture post! Big thanks to Jessie for helping me learn all this. Isn't this a pretty pic? Will had a poster of it in his room and I've been dying to find it so I can have one too.

Thursday, May 26, 2005


Don't you just love when something funny happens and you want to blog about it, then forget, and then remember? It's great. Just now I was standing around with Jessie while she was making food, and I just started laughing and said, "I just remembered something I have to blog about," and walked off. It was great. Anywho.

Reasons we love working with Nathan:
(I was pretending to cry over a teasing Nathan had just given me)
Nathan:(yelling): Hey look, Kati does have feelings!
Me: (appalled) I can't believe you just said that! That's it, I'm writing about you in my blog!

It was very humorous. I had to give him credit for creativity. We've been working a lot together recently and we absolutely love to tease each other all day. There was another funny thing with him I wanted to put in my blog, but I don't remember it now. Dammit. Oh well. Wait! I think something is coming...Oh yeah!

Nathan had just been commenting on how I was writing about him in my blog, and in reply I said,"Oh yes, I write about you all the time. 'Dear blog: Today Nathan looked at me. It was hot.'"

We were both cracking up at that. Good times, good times.

And the big reason we love working with Mitch: He gives free and numerous backrubs. Really good ones too. I got two today. *big grin*

I got my hair cut two inches shorter. I am so pleased, my dead ends are gone and the new ends are all soft and even. Yayness and woot.

In other news, work sucks, but the people are great.

Ren faire is on Sunday!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

It's getting hot in here...

For some reason I am really hot tonight. I think mom probably has turned off the air conditioning, not that I get much of that in my room with no air ducts. Damn unfinished basement. But it must be hot out tonight, because my room usually stays cool in the summer, as it is in the basement. Ah well, I shall suffer and write.

I am in a bit of a melancholy mood. I borrowed Finding Neverland from Joe and Heather and watched it tonight. It was a very good movie, and Johnny Depp had me practically melting with his Scottish accent (fake, but you wouldn't know it unless you were a Depp fan). However, it was a sad movie. Don't you just love, yet simultaniously hate those good/sad movies? Anyway, it put me in a melancholy mood. And I don't think it was just the movie; I have been having some intersting dreams lately. Ones that really have had me thinking.

And on a seemingly yet somehow connected (you wouldn't understand my abstract thinking (unless you knew me?)(parenthesises(sp) in parenthesises are fun)) note (if you can follow all that), I hung out with Will again on Monday. I got an early shift that day, and he offered to pick me up from work and we would go see a movie. Fate, Megan and Juan all gave me shit about it, calling it a date, which I repeatedly had to tell them it wasn't.
Well, after we came here and I got changed, we found out that our movie (Kingdom of Heaven) didn't start until 10:20 and we had some hours to waste. We hung out here for a little while talking until he suggested we go get ice cream. I suggested this one place that he had dubbed the "pink place", where we both had never been. It was awesome, all done up in a fifties/sixties style. The ice cream was wonderful and we sat there for an hour and a half talking and enjoying the nice weather. Then we were off to the theater, had some time, and played air hockey which I got my ass kicked in. The movie itself was very good.

Then on Tuesday night, Sarah called me up and we went and saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It wasn't what I was expecting, but it wasn't bad either. Funny though.

Joe and I seem to be on a chess kick recently. We've played three games so far, which is great because I haven't played chess in so long, and I love it. He kicked my ass twice, but I finaly won. Oh, and it's Star Wars chess, which makes it all the more fun since you can pretend the pieces are fighting, if you will.

But if I may, back to the melancholy-ness. I think...I don't know how to say it. While I love Joe and Heather, I think I am jealous of them. They're all lovey, and I know it's not perfect for them, but still. Seeing things like this only makes me realize yet again what I do not have. I do not blame them; I am happy for them. And this ties in yet again with the dreams, which I shall not repeat here, simply for the fact that other people's dreams may seem boring, unimportant or meaningless to everyone but the dreamer. It it simply put as this:

I am lonely.

And not for people or company. Of that I have plenty, thanks to wonderful friends. But I see Heather cuddled up to Joe, and I am jealous that I do not have a someone to cuddle up with. I never have had someone. I know it is not my fault. I know that I do not need someone to make my life complete and happy. I know that at times I am lucky to be single and free. But isn't it natural to want someone? Here I am, at nineteen years old, and I have had only one date. I know that certain friends I would talk to would reassure me that my time will come, and I know they are right. But the question is, when? And I know they would tell me their stories of how they felt this way before. But when they felt this way, were all of their friends in a relationship? No. And maybe not all of my friends are currently in a relationship, but every single one of them has had at least one. I have had one very bad date.

Perhaps I am just bitching and this all means nothing to you. But this is what is on my mind. It is always there, lurking in the back corners, brought out when I see something romantic-y.

What is worse is, I worry that I am getting desperate. I sit and wonder if my crushes are really crushes, or am I just that desperate for a boyfriend. I over-analyze and I worry and I try not to think of things like these. I tell myself that my crush on him is just me wanting a boyfriend bad and putting him in the role. I worry that they only see me as a friend, a fun person to work with, or one of the guys, and nothing more. I see my friends all around me, getting married, having kids, getting in relationships, and I wonder when I will get to experience it all. I do not want to be one of those girls that needs a boyfriend to be happy. I know I am not that girl. I do not want to think that having a boyfriend will solve all my problems. I know it won't and that it would probably cause problems of it's own. I worry that I am not good enough, even though I know I am.

And even though I feel all this, no one ever knows. And this is why I am Calmly Chaotic.

I can't believe I wrote all this down, and even more, I can't believe I am going to post it for everyone to see. I would appreciate if no one would reply with comments to this, especially if you are going to say any of the cliched phrases I get when I say this kind of thing. They consist of, as mentioned above, "your time will come", etc.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Next Blog --->

Why is it so hard to find good blogs on blogger? When I am bored, I like to use the handy dandy next blog button that blogger so thoughtfully put up in the corner. But half the time I get blogs advertising things, or in a different language, or just plain stupid. And honestly, why can't the mass majority of bloggers use proper grammer and punctuation? It's not that hard, people.

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Anywho, today was fun. All day, actually, which is rare. I think it was because we actually had enough people scheduled for once. A lot of the fun people worked today, and I was lucky to have both Tim and Nathan there together. They're both fun, but when you get those two together, it's nonstop hilarity. Today Nathan and I had this huge thing of play flirting going on, it was great. I was like "You want me, you know it" and he would go "You're only worth five minutes in the stockroom" and then Monica popped in with "I think she's worth a little more than that *wink*". So he and I kept playing like that and insinuating stuff. Well, I guess you really had to be there for it to be funny. Ah well.

Ren faire is in one week!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

I went to the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode III, and Oh My God. It was amazing. A big thanks to Joe for the tickets!

I won't say anything about the movie except that it was awesome. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

Lots of people there were dressed up and many others brought lightsabers with them. Tons of people wearing Star Wars shirts were there also of course. The line was out the door and in the parking lot. Luckily we got there early enough to get in about the middle of the line, and got good seats in the very back row. (Good for watching those big battles!)

And now for something very special: A quote from Joe.
(Heather is commenting on Joe's Sith teeth)
Heather: It looks like you've been eating Oreos.
Joe: Sith don't eat Oreos!
(Heather laughs)
Joe: Can you just see Darth Maul - "Hey Sidious, pass the milk"?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Arr Matey

My pirate name is:
Mad Mary Kidd
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from

Edit: Well, something seems to be wrong with the code for this. If you desire to read my results, just highlight the text and you'll be able to see the missing bits. Unfortunately, the picture is not showing up either (for me at least). It's just a skull and crossbones if you really want to know.

The quiz is great though. Check it out, ye landlubber.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Baseball and Stuff

Good news, everybody! Well, you might not be excited, but I am. On Tuesday I should be going with the guys from work to play baseball!


Ok, so I am not actually going to be playing, most likely. But Randall invited me to go with them, and I told him I'd love to, but all I would do is watch and cheer. He seemed fine with that, but that's just because he has never seen me cheer. Anywho, so far we know that it will be Randall, Juan, Mitch, Derek, and Mikey going. And me. Yeah.

Fun note at work today - Emily was going around asking any of the girls if they had "girly things". I did, so I went to give her a pad to help out. She declined, much to my surprise, and told me that she can't have a pad because she is not wearing underwear. WHOA. Waaaaaaaaaaaay more than I needed to know, Emily. I went back to where the guys were and just stood there. Randall noticed I was looking a bit odd, and pestered me to know what about. I told him he didn't want to know, but he kept at it until I said "Fine. You want to know? Emily does not wear underwear."

He stopped dead, his eyes bugged out and he dropped the bun he was holding. After a moment, he turned and walked away. Later he came up to me and told me that if he had nightmares from this, he would come back and kick my ass.

It's all good, Randall. Sweet dreams, haha.

Joe and Heather are back from Chicago. Their trip was great, and they had some really good pictures. I wish I had a scanner so I could upload them here. And now that they are back, Heather is moving out of her house. Lots of drama going on there.

In other news, while Fate and I were working today, she came up to me all excited and told me the baby was moving. I put my hand on her stomach and I felt her baby move! It was pretty amazing.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Let's Play Catch....Up

Current Music: Holiday by Green Day

So school is over for the summer, which means at the start of next week, I will be going full time at McDonalds. Oh, lucky me.

Monday is Danielle's baby shower, and I really need to get to where she is registered and pick something up. I also need to arrange a ride to and from her house, or get directions to walk.

Joe and Heather are up in Chicago for a U2 concert. They left Wed. morning and will be coming back sometime tomorrow afternoon. Joe joked that he would bring me back a snowglobe. I told him if he did I would hit him with it.

My new computer desk came, but it still has a part that needs to be attached. So I have my computer still hooked up to my old one. Things seem to take forever to get done in my house.

Recently I have been hanging out more with Will, which has been great. He really is a great guy.

I have decided that if I suggest to Steve one more time that we should hang out and he still doesn't pick up the hint, I am going to state it as plainly as I can. Honestly, that boy does not get subtle hints. I'll say that we should hang out sometime, and he changes the subject. Will said at first that it was a good thing that he was avoiding the subject of me, but now he's not so sure. So tomorrow when I work with Steve, I am going to suggest it again.

Today was so boring. Everyone was busy except for me.